Living with Petulant BPD presents a unique set of challenges that sets it apart from the other other subtypes of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

However, like many of those other subtypes, the petulant variation can also be traced back to early childhood experiences and trauma(s) rooted in the dynamic between the child and primary giver.

One of the primary causes of almost all cases of BPD is the consistent caregiving, which could include a lack of emotional validation, emotional intimacy, touch and a lack of capacity in tending to the needs of the child in their formative years.

These might include a succession of small ‘t’ traumas, that, while inconsequential in isolation – as no parents are truly perfect – over time, contribute to a larger big ‘T’ trauma of unworthiness, because the base scripts of security were never created.

This in turn, leads to the cognitive distortions that characterise much of the condition, leading to an inability to form and maintain healthy relationships in later life.

And while cognitive distortions are common across all types of BPD, in the case of Petulant BPD presents, they can manifest as intense cynicism and an extremely negative outlook on life, coupled with anger management issues.

In relationships, this may take the form of intense scepticism towards others’ intentions, which can lead to a constant state of hypervigilance, state of anxiousness and avoidance that can lead to a fearful avoidant attachment style.

All due to the persistent expectation of disappointment and betrayal; the insecure base script that was created in childhood.

How Petulant BPD Differs from Other Subtypes

Just as the concept of borderline personality disorder emerged from the ongoing study and research of other personality disorders, Petulant BPD represents the progression of BPD, which forms part of the work of Theodore Milton.

In his theory, Milton proposed four subtypes of BPD, which he cited as being petulant, impulsive, discouraged, and self-destructive. The intention was to create a new system that was able to fully capture the wide variety of behavioural sets.

And while many cases of BPD do share some common traits, they also have some distinct or heightened facets within the presentation of symptoms.

Let’s break it down:

Comparison with other BPD subtypes:

Quiet BPD: Internalises emotions more, less outwardly defiant than Petulant BPD.
Impulsive BPD: Shares a similar impulsive nature with Petulant BPD but is less focused on control and more on sensation-seeking.
Self-destructive BPD: More prone to self-harm and suicidal behaviours compared to Petulant BPD’s outward-directed anger.

Unique traits of Petulant BPD:

Defiant behaviour: More oppositional than other subtypes, often challenging authority.
Pessimistic worldview: Consistently negative outlook on life.
Need for control: Intense desire to manage situations and people, often mistaken for narcissistic traits.
Cyclical relationships: Characterised by intense closeness followed by sudden distancing.
Emotional volatility: Rapid shifts between anger, frustration, and emptiness.

Petulant BPD and Narcissism:

Entitled behaviour: Petulant BPD can manifest in ways that seem narcissistic, particularly in terms of entitlement and control.
Confusion in diagnosis: The overlap in symptoms can lead to misdiagnosis or confusion between the two conditions.
Key difference: While both may seek control, the underlying motivations differ. Petulant BPD is driven by fear of abandonment, while narcissism is rooted in grandiosity.

How Rare is Petulant BPD?

At present, specific studies detailing Petulant BPD aren’t widely available.

Previous data on BPD stated that approximately 1.6% of the general population are affected by the condition. So it can be speculated that the prevalence of petulant BPD would be one fourth of that figure.

However, a more recent large scale study, interviewing 34,653 adults found that BPD is far more prevalent than previously thought with it affecting approximately 5.9% of the sample size at some point in their lives.

The same study also highlighted that BPD also affects men (5.6%) and women (6.2%) almost equally. This suggests that Petulant BPD, while still on the less common side of mental health disorders, might actually be more common than previously thought.

Given that BPD affects 5.6% of men and 6.2% of women, and there are four subtypes, we could speculate to get a rough figure for the prevalence of Petulant BPD, based on these findings. However, we need to acknowledge that the subtypes might be even distributed.

Let’s make a conservative estimate that Petulant BPD represents about 20-25% of all BPD cases:

• For men: 5.6% * 0.20 to 0.25 = 1.12% to 1.4%
• For women: 6.2% * 0.20 to 0.25 = 1.24% to 1.55%

Now, let’s compare these speculative figures with the prevalence of other disorders:

Other Personality Disorders:

• Antisocial Personality Disorder: 1-4%
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder: 0.5-1%
• Avoidant Personality Disorder: 2.4%

Mood Disorders:

• Major Depressive Disorder: 6.7%
• Bipolar Disorder: 2.8%

Anxiety Disorders:

• Generalised Anxiety Disorder: 3.1%
• Social Anxiety Disorder: 7.1%

Based on our speculative calculations, Petulant BPD might affect approximately 1.1-1.4% of men and 1.2-1.55% of women. This would place its prevalence in a similar range to some other personality disorders like Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but lower than Antisocial or Avoidant Personality Disorders.

Compared to mood and anxiety disorders, our speculative prevalence for Petulant BPD is lower than major depression and most anxiety disorders, but potentially similar to or slightly lower than the prevalence of Bipolar Disorder.

Recognising Petulant BPD: Signs, Symptoms, and Behaviours

Becoming aware of the symptoms at play is the beginning of any recovery process. When behaviours can be acknowledged, they can be languaged. And when they can be languaged, better choices can then be worked towards.

One of the biggest themes within Petulant BPD is the prevalence of anger. And while there are no specific studies relating to this subtype as of yet, the most recent research has shown individuals with BPD experience anger more frequently than those without the disorder.

For instance, one study found approximately 73% of BPD patients reported showing aggressive behaviour within a year, and found it difficult to control their emotions.

The research also highlighted that BPD patients exhibited stronger increases in anger after engaging in tasks they found frustrating compared to individuals who didn’t have a diagnosis of BPD.

What Does Petulant BPD Actually Look Like?

Here are some of the main behavioural patterns that characterise petulant BPD. Be aware, these are just a few of the most commonly observed tendencies and don’t represent the entire spectrum of the disorder.

Passive-aggressive tendencies: Individuals with Petulant BPD often express anger indirectly. This can manifest as sulking, stubbornness, or procrastination, causing frustration and confusion in others.

Chronic irritability: It’s not uncommon for there to be a near-constant state of frustration. This persistent emotional tension can lead to intense outbursts, often triggered by what appear to be trivial incidents.

Fluctuating self-image: The individual’s sense of self can shift dramatically on an hour-to-hour, or day-to-day basis. This instability can cause long-term confusion about personal identity and values.

Impulsive decision-making: Rash choices are often made without considering consequences. This can lead to regret and further complications in various aspects of life.

Fear of criticism and rejection: There might also be an intense sensitivity to perceived negative feedback. This can result in defensive behaviours and resorting to social isolation.

Emotional Volatility and Anger in Petulant BPD

Practically speaking, if there is a great deal of anger present, then the individual with petulant BPD will likely have a dysregulated nervous system, which will reduce the capacity for reasoning and rational thought process.

This can then lead to increased states of impulsivity and making poor choices, not just in relationships but in areas of life.

Choices are patterns.

And the quality of one choice often sponsors the next. So, if the sponsoring emotion is anger, it will inevitably lead to further choices, which are rooted in volatile thought patterns…

Here are some examples to illustrate how some of these behaviours might present:

Petulant BPD Example #1: Anger Expression Spectrum

Sarah engages is prone to expressing anger:

• Passive-aggressive: She gives her partner the silent treatment after a minor disagreement.
• Explosive outburst: During a work meeting, she suddenly shouts at a colleague for interrupting her.

Petulant BPD Example #2: Emotional Intensity Fluctuations

Mark’s emotions shift rapidly throughout the day:

• Morning: He’s ecstatic about a compliment from his boss.
• Afternoon: He’s deeply depressed after a friend cancels lunch plans.
• Evening: He’s furious at his partner for being 10 minutes late.

Petulant BPD Example #3: Rage Triggers and Escalation

Emma’s anger escalates quickly in various situations:

• Perceived slight: A friend’s joking comment about her outfit leads to a heated argument.
• Abandonment fear: Her partner’s business trip announcement results in accusations of abandonment.
• Control challenge: A change in work schedule causes a confrontation with her supervisor.

Petulant BPD Example #4: Emotional Regulation Deficits

Tom struggles to manage his emotions:

• At a family dinner, a minor criticism from his mother leads to a table-flipping outburst.
• After the incident, he’s unable to calm down and continues ranting for hours.

Petulant BPD Example #5: Aftermath and Reconciliation Patterns

Lisa’s post-outburst behaviour follows a cycle:

• After screaming at her best friend, she profusely apologises and promises to change.
• A week later, she’s back to being defensive and irritable, denying any issues in her behaviour.

The Impact of Petulant BPD on Relationships

So, we’ve looked at what some of the behaviours look like and how they manifest, but what is the impact? Both in the short and long-term? The continuation of impulsive behaviours and volatility obviously has an immediate impact on the individual with BPD.

But in relational terms… It creates massive dysfunction. When hypervigilance and volatility are core tendencies that underpinning communication and the larger relationship dynamic, it creates hurt, which creates further trauma…

The person – or people – who in connection with the individual who is living with petulant BPD, will likely question themselves if they’re on the empathetic end of the emotional intelligence spectrum, or may fall into a reactive ego-based response. What’s often termed as reactive abuse.

It can create a negative downward spiral, which then activates the petulance and combativeness of the BPD individual, leading to a complete breakdown of the connection.

Relationship Patterns and Interpersonal Challenges

First, let’s take a closer look at what the predominant relationship patterns look like on an interpersonal level. Here are some of the most common tendencies that specifically characterise Petulant BPD:

Push-pull cycle: Individuals with Petulant BPD often alternate between seeking intense closeness and abruptly distancing themselves, which is characteristic of a fear-avoidant attachment style.

Trust issues: There can also be an intense suspicion of others’ motives, leading to the misinterpretation of well-meaning actions as intent to harm which can strain relationships.

Conflict escalation: Minor disagreements can often escalate quickly due to underlying anger and difficulty in regulating emotions. These conflicts often become cyclical with little resolution.

Attachment style: Petulant BPD typically involves anxious or disorganised attachment patterns, which are characterised by a deep longing for connection, coupled with a fear of commitment.

Boundary issues: There might also be challenges respecting of a boundaries while having difficulties establishing their own, which can lead to a cycle of boundary violations and relationship instability.

Petulant BPD in Romantic Relationships

Now, let’s take a more in-depth look at how petulant BPD tendencies might play out within a romantic relationship dynamic and unique challenges that might be faced:

Idealisation-devaluation cycles: Partners may experience rapid shifts between being placed on a pedestal and harshly criticised, creating a sense of emotional whiplash.

Jealousy and possessiveness manifestations: Intense feelings of insecurity can lead to controlling behaviours and accusing partners of cheating, rooted in their fear of abandonment.

Intimacy avoidance patterns: The fear of being abandoned may lead to the pushing away of a partner to avoid in order to avert the risk of being abandonment themselves, they seek to control the experience.

Conflict resolution deficits: As with interpersonal relationships, disagreements may escalate quickly with difficulty in finding constructive solutions or compromise.

Abandonment fear triggers: Certain situations or behaviours may activate intense fears of being left, leading to clingy or push-pull behaviours.

Treatment Approaches and Management Strategies

Although petulant BPD might appear to be extremely challenging, it is completely treatable.  Engaging in therapy can be a life-changing and transformance of experience, which can offer a path to greater emotional stability and quality of life.

With the right course of therapy, it’s possible to learn emotional regulation techniques which will prevent from drifting into the intense and volatile patterns of choice which are so characteristic of petulant BPD.

It can also aid in creating other distress tolerance skills which will lead to greater resilience and reduce the impact of internal and external stressors. This can lead to improvements in all areas of life, including in career, interpersonal relationships, and romantic relationships.

Evidence-Based Therapies for Petulant BPD

When it comes to treating Petulant BPD, several evidence-based therapies have shown promising results. Let’s take a look at each of them and unpack why they’re particularly effective for this subtype of BPD.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is a treatment designed for people with complex mental health issues, particularly those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It was created by Marsha Linehan to help people who were struggling with suicidal thoughts and behaviours.

DBT combines techniques to help people change problematic behaviours with methods that encourage self-acceptance. It combines the following approaches:

1. Cognitive-behavioural interventions aimed at changing problematic behaviours and cognitions. These were initially assembled from evidence-based treatments for other disorders like anxiety and depression.
2. Acceptance-oriented interventions designed to convey acceptance of the patient and help the patient accept themselves, their emotions, thoughts, etc. These were added to address issues with patients feeling invalidated by the change-focused techniques alone.
3. Dialectical philosophy that strives to balance and synthesise acceptance and change strategies throughout treatment.
4. Mindfulness and acceptance-oriented interventions.
5. Interventions targeting suicidal behavior and emotion-related difficulties.

Other Therapies That May Support Petulant BPD

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): This treatment is effective for Petulant BPD due to its ability to identify challenging thought patterns that fuel and eligibility whilst also providing practical tools for developing healthier coping mechanisms.

Mentalisation-Based Therapy (MBT): This treatment is particularly effective for improving interpersonal relationships as it helps individuals understand both their own and all those mental states, helping to reduce conflicts and misunderstandings

Schema-Focused Therapy: This treatment is effective and addressing the deep rooted emotional patterns and maladaptive coping mechanisms, which contributes to deeply ingrained patterns of thinking of behaviour in adulthood which leads to dysfunctional relationships