Common Difficulties in Relationships1.Not Listening to What’s Being Said
We’ve all had those moments where we’ve checked out of a conversations, but if you make it a regular habit of not being present with your partner, you’ll not only be out of touch with what’s being shared, you’ll also never truly be in touch with their needs. This can often lead to resentment, which often leads to animosity or breakups.2.Reacting Instead of Responding
When you’ve been emotionally triggered or you’ve found yourself in a confrontation, it can be hard to hold your tongue. When you allow yourself to react instead of responding, it only serves to escalate the situation. It creates a back and forth until you’re so far from discussing anything that’s even remotely related, it simply become a shouting match to decide who will win with the force of personality.
3.Trying to “Win the Discussion”
If you have the need to always be right, it can become mentally exhausting for your partner. When you’re always making corrections and calling them out on things they’ve said, it might not always lead to arguments, however, if left unchecked over time, it will suck all the joy out of your relationship.
4.Viewing Vulnerability as a Sign of Weakness
Being vulnerable isn’t about garnering sympathy, it’s about being honest with yourself and where you’re at emotionally. Sometimes, things just aren’t great and being able to admit that can not only be a huge weight off your shoulders, it can also show your partner you trust them enough to hold you in that state. Being vulnerable is an exercise in trust, which also demonstrates to your partner they can also open up to you in the same way.
5.Making Demands and Giving Ultimatums
Making demands and giving ultimatums creates a power dynamic in which one side has all of the negotiating power. You can often see this occur in abusive relationships in which one half will try and control the other.
6.Automatically Assuming a Defensive Position
If you’re in a situation where you’re backed into a proverbial corner, who could blame someone for being defensive? In reality, it doesn’t always take a suppressive personality to bring out this type of behaviour. You can be so attached to your version of events or your truth, that you unknowingly create an ideology around those beliefs. Whenever these beliefs are challenged, you’ll defend them at all costs. Being rooted in this defensive position can see even the most basic of conversations quickly escalate into arguments.
7.Using Passive-Aggressive Tactics
If you’re withholding your feelings from your partner, either because you don’t like confrontation or feel intimidated, and then go on to make subtle barbed comments about the issue you were contending after the fact, it creates a real air of animosity. This can and usually does come to head with full-scale arguments where the passive aggressor lets off all the steam they’ve been building up over days, weeks, or months. The fix for this is both easy to relate, but unfortunately difficult to execute for some.
8.Withdrawing From the Conversation and Shutting Down
You’re essentially holding out and waiting for your partner to crack. In some instances, if the two people involved are stubborn enough, it can lead to long drawn silences that can go on for days and even weeks, which turns into a slow, uneasy truce in which nothing is truly resolved and the seeds of resentment are sown for a future confrontation.
Jealousy is a painful and poisonous emotion which refers to undesirable thoughts and feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and insecurity. It is activated by threats to a relationship and motivates behaviour that counters the threat. As humans, we have specially designed cognitive mechanisms which have evolved and aim at solving adaptive problems i.e. forming a romantic, sexual relationship with another person and specifically, protecting our partners from potential rivals before jealousy begins to occur.
10.Feeling Like You’re Walking on Eggshells
Intimate relationships with the ones we love are all about compromise. However, if you feel like you have to ask your partner for permission before doing anything, or that any decision you take is liable to lead to a blazing row or to feel bad, there is a big problem in the relationship. People often use the term “walking on eggshells” to describe the feeling of having to tiptoe around their partner, trying to ask things the “right” way, and feeling a sense of panic on a regular basis, in case they flare up and get angry in response to a simple question.
The Need for Commitment and Trust
What about Emotional Abuse?
What Does Emotional Abuse Look Like in a Relationship?
Can Therapy Help?
What Professional Support Is Available For Relationship Difficulties?
How Can I Get Therapy For Relationship Issues In London?