Monday, 24 Jul 2017
Why do some women cheat?
By Dr Becky Spelman
If you’re reading this because you’re thinking of cheating on your partner, do one thing before you close this page: think about why you’re thinking of cheating on them. Are they not sexy anymore? Do they not care? Has the spark gone, or are you worried about sharing something of yours—like a fantasy or a fetish—with them, because of how they’ll react?
All the reasons above are reasons why women cheat, but they don’t have to be. If you’re thinking of cheating but haven’t done anything yet, it’s not too late to back out and speak to your partner before taking the plunge.
They’re not sexy anymore
If you were attracted to the hot, sexy twenty-year-old and now the 35-year-old you’re married to falls asleep on the sofa at 8pm, then it’s normal for some of the lust to fade. But isn’t there any sexiness that comes from knowing someone inside and out? How have they changed in those years?
If you’ve grown apart, it might be best to tell them instead of keeping them around for convenience’s sake.
They don’t care anymore
Is this ‘don’t care’ as in they don’t make the effort anymore or as in they have told you they no longer care about you? Leave the one who doesn’t care, because once that lack of respect has been revealed there’s no way of going back, but if they no longer make the effort you can sit down and talk about it. They might be surprised that you’ve noticed and missed the effort, and a relationship that still has legs will improve from them trying to learn from that conversation.
I’m scared of sharing something with them
Unfortunately, once the cheating is discovered, you’ll have even more things to share with them that they might not like. What’s given you this impression? Is it worth broaching the subject gently with them, to sound out their feelings on the matter? If you’ve been in a relationship for some time, there should be a certain amount of trust. It can’t have been built on nothing.
Ultimately, cheating comes down to respect — do you respect them enough not to hurt them by cheating on them? If the answer is no, then you can end the relationship and embark on a new relationship with the person you’re thinking of cheating with. It’s much less pain for everyone involved.
Who can I speak to further about the issues in this article?
For help with the issues discussed in this article speak to one of our therapists here at Private Therapy Clinic.