Empathy and compassion…
They’re sometimes used interchangeably, but in reality, they represent two related and overlapping concepts.
They form the basis of what a thriving society and culture could and should be built upon.
A shared understanding of each other’s emotional landscape, coupled with the willingness and capacity to help make a difference through inspired action.
There is no choice between empathy or compassion. That’s not that question that’s being posed.
Whether compassion or empathy is enacted comes down to a multitude of factors, including appropriateness, capacity and awareness.
The Trio of Understanding: Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion
Let’s begin by unpacking and differentiating between the overlapping constructs of sympathy, empathy and compassion, as they may all be used interchangeably.
However, while they do overlap at times, they all have their own distinct functions, which necessitate a definition of their own.
Sympathy vs Empathy vs Compassion: Distinct Emotions Explained
When we witness someone in distress, our initial emotional response may be sympathy. We want to offer something – anything – as a way of recognising and acknowledging the suffering they’re going through. For example, if a friend shares about their job loss with you, even though you haven’t experienced it yourself, you may sympathise with them and understand their situation. This can extend to offering your condolences, and in a certain sense feeling sorry for the person. Sympathy recognises the pain and say’s, ‘I’m sorry.’ But not much more.
Empathy, on the other hand, goes a step further. It creates a connection that allows you not only to see what someone is experiencing, but also to feel their pain. For example, this can manifest as somatic and/or bodily responses, such as when your heart aches after the same friend expresses fears about the future after losing their job. Empathy involves stepping into the shoes of others to both see and feel things from their perspective. While sympathy is observational, empathy is both observational and experiential.
Compassion is where sympathy and empathy both converge and transcend the state of awareness and move into an expression of action. It involves acknowledging and sitting with someone’s pain, but also desiring to help them alleviate their suffering. Compassion is empathy in action. This might involve helping a friend update their CV or connecting them with job opportunities. Compassion is an expression that conveys “I genuinely care about your well being. I’m here for you and I want to help you through this in whatever capacity I can.”
Can You Be Empathetic but Not Compassionate?
This isn’t so black and white. The short answer is yes, you can be empathetic but not compassionate. However, this doesn’t mean one is a bad person if compassion isn’t offered. It could be that there is a great understanding of the suffering, but for whatever reason, whether it be a lack of capacity, or resources that compassion can’t be offered. For instance, a doctor may empathise deeply with a patient who is terminally ill with cancer, but may not have the capacity to fully heal them, and so can offer no further treatment. However, in doing their utmost to care for their patient up until that point, they have still offered and embodied compassion.
Diving Deeper into Empathy
Empathy can be thought of as the cornerstone of human connection. So much of our experience is through the relations we have with our friends, family and other peers groups. To understand each another’s feelings is both a gift and responsibility – to hold each other in mutual empathetic respect. In a world that can sometimes feel fragmented, empathy serves as a bridge, uniting us in shared experiences and emotions.
What Are the 3 Different Kinds of Empathy?
Cognitive Empathy: This type of empathy revolves around understanding and taking on someone else’s perspective. It involves being able to comprehend the thoughts and worldview of another person even if we don’t personally share those same values or shared experience that contribute to them.
Emotional Empathy: Emotional empathy occurs when we physically feel the emotions of another person as if they were our own. Such a state might involve witnessing the moment of a friend’s wedding at an altar in a church, feeling into the joyous elation of their unionising with their partner.
Compassionate Empathy: Compassionate empathy goes beyond understanding and feeling; it compels us to take action and help others. It is the type of empathy that drives individuals to volunteer at shelters, donate to causes or simply provide support for someone in need. It combines both feeling and action.
What Are 5 Examples of Empathy?
Grief and Solidarity: After experiencing traumatic events, communities often come together in support for those that have been affected. Those attending may not have known the victims personally, but they feel the collective pain and loss on a deep level.
Medical Care: A nurse gently holding the hand of a nervous patient, even though she’s seen hundreds of similar cases, she understands that for this patient, the experience is unique and potentially terrifying.
Emotional Connection through Literature: Imagine reading a novel and finding yourself moved to tears by a character’s misfortune. That emotional tug is empathy in action forging a connection between you and the character’s trials.
Parental Bond: Think of a parent staying up late to comfort their child after a nightmare. Although they may not recall their childhood fears vividly, they empathise with their child’s terror because of how deeply it’s affecting them.
Supporting Mental Health: Listening to a friend discuss their anxiety or depression without judgement, even if you’ve never experienced it yourself. The empathy comes as a sincere attempt to understand and be present with their emotional state.
The Essence and Power of Compassion
Compassion is widely recognised as one of the most valued core virtues one can aspire to embody across many different cultures and belief systems. The essence of compassion is one of supportive presence that seeks to engage and alleviate. Compassion is both a holding of space for an individual’s pain, but also helping that person move beyond their suffering. It is capable of repairing connections, and healing some of the deepest wounds when fully embodied and coming from a place of deep sincerity.
What Are the 3 Types of Compassion?
Self Compassion: Before we can show kindness to others, it’s vital that we first show it to ourselves, first. Self-compassion involves acknowledging our own suffering and sitting with that pain to provide ourselves with the same compassion we’d desire to receive from someone else. Whether we’re facing personal failures, setbacks, or just everyday challenges, self-compassion teaches us to be gentle with ourselves.
Compassion for Others: This form of compassion is perhaps the most widely recognised. It involves the active desire to alleviate the suffering of others. It can be seen when a mother comforts her child after scraping their knee, when a stranger offers their seat on a crowded train or when a community comes together to support a family in need.
Receptive Compassion: Often overlooked, but equally important, is allowing ourselves to receive compassion from others. It means acknowledging our vulnerability and being open to support and comfort from those around us. In a society that often values independence and self-reliance, accepting compassion can be a profound act of bravery.
Lead with Compassion: How It Changes Everything
Leadership: Leaders who prioritise compassion create an environment of trust, collaboration and a sense of belonging. Those who work in these spaces feel acknowledged, valued and are more inclined to go the extra mile. Such settings often witness reduced conflicts, amplified creativity and higher rates of workplace satisfaction.
Relationships: Compassionate relationships are rooted in respect and understanding. Partners who demonstrate patience, forgiveness and supportiveness help foster stronger bonds that can weather turbulent moments in a relationship.
Personal well being: Engaging in acts of compassion on a regular basis, in both an expression of giving and receiving can uplift our mood, alleviate anxiety and foster a deeper sense of purpose.
Societal impact: Communities built on compassion are known for their inclusivity, supportiveness and resilience. They work together for the well being of all individuals, ensuring no one is left behind.
Integrating Kindness into Daily Life
Kindness is an expression of culture that lies beneath every action, every word and every gesture. It’s not something you do, but a way of thinking—a deliberate decision to interact with the world with warmth and generosity. While it may not be immediately apparent, each act of kindness has a far reaching effect, influencing lives that are multiple degrees of separation from the original act itself. In our fast-paced society, where personal ambitions often take precedence over community welfare, incorporating kindness into our everyday lives becomes more than just a choice, but a necessity.
How to Be Kind: Simple Steps and Actions
Active Listening: Sometimes showing kindness can be as simple as listening to someone without trying to fix their problems, passing judgement or immediately responding. It’s about being fully present and offering them the gift of your attention.
Small Gestures: A heartfelt handwritten note, surprising a colleague with a cup of coffee or even just sharing a smile with a stranger can truly brighten someone’s day. It’s often the smallest of gestures that create the most impact in people’s lives.
Avoiding Negative Talk: Choosing not to engage in conversations or gossip is a subtle yet powerful way to show kindness. By refraining from these behaviours we not preserve the dignity of others but also uphold the integrity of our character.
Expressing Gratitude: Taking the time to express gratitude goes a long way in fostering a culture of kindness. Whether it’s thanking the bus driver for their service, acknowledging a coworker for their assistance or acknowledging a family member for preparing a meal – recognising and valuing the efforts of others is part of the greater language of kindness.
Offering Sincere Compliments: Genuine compliments have the power to boost someone’s confidence and bring joy to their day. By acknowledging and vocalising the qualities we see in others we spread kindness by affirming what we see in others that they might not be able or willing to recognise in themselves.
Practising Patience: Demonstrating patience, towards those who are learning something, a neighbour who may need extra time and support or even ourselves during challenging times, signifies a level of respect for the needs of others on their journey.
Volunteering: Devoting your time and energy to causes or communities you deeply care about has multiple benefits. Not only does it positively impact those you are helping, it also provides a deep sense of fulfilment that cannot easily be found anywhere else.
Actionable Ways to Demonstrate Compassion and Empathy
Compassion and empathy go beyond feelings; they invite us to take action. While it’s important to feel for someone it’s more impactful to demonstrate that empathy through compassionate action.. Regardless of how capable you believe you are, there is always someone who’s less able that would benefit from your support.
Ways to Show Compassion in Everyday Life
Be Present: Often, the most powerful act of compassion is to be wholly and fully present. Allow yourself to let go of distractions and the inner narrative of “me and mine” and truly listen when someone is speaking to you.
Non-Judgmental Support: Whether someone is sharing a personal story or a distressing emotion, resist the urge to judge or offer solutions immediately. Sometimes, the most compassionate response is a supportive silence.
Random Acts of Kindness: Small acts of kindness can have an impact on brightening someone’s day such as holding a door open or even acknowledging someone while out on a walk. These acts might appear trivial, but can make a huge difference.
Offer Help: Demonstrate compassion by offering your assistance to someone who’s clearly in need, whether it’s a neighbour, colleague, a friend or family. Do something that’s completely non-self serving for someone you know.
