American authors Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor wrote “Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. This is what love is.” They may have been being funny, but there’s some truth lurking behind their words. Relationships are so fragile—just two people and some feelings—and they can be brought down with ease.
Maybe you’ve already done it, and maybe you just want to know the signs. But relationship problems are easy to spot.
Lack of trust
You may worry that when your partner is out they are cheating on you. You might feel this belief so strongly that you try to break into their phone or social media accounts to see what messages they are sending and receiving.
This lack of trust means your relationship is almost gone. Take a step back and ask why you’re so worried. Were they a cheater before? Or are you just looking for ways to back out of a good thing because it scares you?
Lack of communication
Your partner is tense, so you ask them what’s wrong. They insist that they’re fine, but stay tense, angry and quiet. This has the effect of making you feel minimised and paranoid, and if you recognise these signs in yourself that you can sure the relationship will die a quick death. If neither of you are willing to say what’s on your mind, how can you hope to have a good relationship?
Cheating is, at its bottom line, about respect. If you don’t respect your partner enough not to cheat, then the relationship is over for all but the most hardy of partners. Your relationship will never be the same as it was, with an underlying touch of sadness and distrust—which is why, when most people find out about the cheating, the relationship is automatically over.
Your partner might decide to ‘test’ you and see how much you know about them. This could range from them flirting with someone in plain sight, or maybe purposely leaving their phone at home when they’re out with a group of friends—all to see how you’ll react. These actions erode trust with relative ease, making it clear your partner will never think you’re good enough and will always have to put you through your paces.
Once you know the signs, you can avoid relationship problems before they get too bad.
Who can I speak to further about the issues in this article?
For help with the issues discussed in this article speak to one of our therapists here at Private Therapy Clinic.